Open Question: Jewish ladies, how may I serve you?
Hi ladies,
One year ago top Israeli rabbi, Ovadia Yosef, announced that non-Jews exist only to serve Jews and that non-Jews are going to be slaves to Jews once the Moshiach arrives. I believe he gets this idea from certain passages in the Talmud (Shabbos 32b, Eruvin 43b, etc.) as well as later rabbinical writings .
See Haaretz:
http://www.haaretz.com/jewish-world/adl-slams-shas-spiritual-leader-for-saying-non-jews-were-born-to-serve-jews-1.320235
Now, I know what you’re thinking: this guy is batshit nuts and those passages about non-Jews being slaves to Jews in the Messianic era shouldn’t be taken literally. I happen to agree with you. However, in the event we’re both wrong, and I’m ultimately reduced to an eved kena’ani, I wish to ascertain which skills will be most in demand among the overladies in the geulah.
My Background:
Ethnicity/nationality: German-American
Sex: Male
Height: 6 ft.
Weight: 210 lb. (muscular)
Age: 20
Academic/Career Background: Mathematics student at a state university
Eye color: Blue-grey
Hair color: Brunette
Looks: Not bad, but not as cute as my blond younger brother.
Which skills would you like me to possess? Check all that apply:
1. Auto and/or motorcycle repair
2. Bookkeeping
3. Computer repair
4. Dusting
5. Fanning you while you dine or recline on the couch
6. Foot massage
7. Full-body massage
8. Gardening assistance
9. Holding doors
10. Chauffering
11.Cooking/Culinary assistance
12. Typing and transcribing
13. Bowing, scraping, and/or other means of exaltation
14. Babysitting
15. Home repair
16. Making coffee
17. Making tea
18. Holiday decoration assistance
19. General errand boy work
20. Fluffing pillows
21. Personal trainer
22. Doing laundry
23. Making beds
24. Serving beverages and small snacks
25. Cleaning toilets
26. Drawing baths
27. Organizing book collection
28. Organizing CD collection
29. Organizing shoe collection
30. Cleaning appliances
31. Repairing appliances
32. Taking out the trash
33. Doing your homework
34. Fetching slippers
35. Lawn care
36. Tying your shoes
37. Mopping floors and/or cleaning linoleum
38. Sweeping
39. Vacuuming
40. Washing windows
41. Washing and waxing vehicles
42. Doing dishes
43. [Fill in the blank]
Remember, I’ll be more than privileged to serve you. That’s all I exist to do.
Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:38:49 GMT
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Book of the Month - Unquenchable: A Tipsy Quest for the World’s Best Bargain Wines by Natalie MacLean
From the author of the bestselling Red, White and Drunk All Over, comes a new book, Unquenchable: A Tipsy Quest for the World’s Best Bargain Wines that will amuse and enthrall with its character sketches of obsessive personalities, travel to gorgeous vineyards, mouth-watering descriptions of food and wine, “hidden” wine education and neurotic … (more)
Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:39:49 GMT
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This week’s Culinary SOS: Chicken salad from the Curious Palate - Los Angeles Times
This week’s Culinary SOS comes to us from Courtney Lockwood in Santa Monica: A relatively new cafe in Mar Vista, the Curious Palate, makes a wonderful chicken salad with almonds, dried cranberries, scallions and Rocky Jr. chicken. It is the best …
2011-10-22T14:43:44Z
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Presto Pasta Nights #236
Fish-Cake (Satsuma age) and Vegetables Noodle Stir-Fry What is this lovely dish you ask? This is the first submission I received for Presto Pasta Nights this week. When I saw it I knew I would immediately want it but I wasn’t sure what it was. I just knew it looked delish! It is Fishcake (Satsuma-ag …
Tue, 25 Oct 2011 19:04:00 CDT
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The Batman theme song meets mouth-watering culinary punnery …
tonic clonic: ha. it just dawned on me. pretty clever. naan naan naan naan – The Batman theme song meets mouth-watering culinary punnery; tonic clonic: I don't get it. – The Batman theme song meets mouth-watering …
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